8 years ago

Sunday, January 15, 2012

8 years ago today, I held my first baby in my arms for the first time. I also knew it would be the last time I would ever hold her, on this earth. She was tiny and perfect. She had her father's nose and her auntie Jenna's toes. While I held her, I knew that what I was really holding was her shell, for already, Jesus was holding her in His arms.

I want to be honest here. There have been days that I have wondered if I will ever really get to see her again. Will she be in Heaven? She never took a breath on earth.  While I was laying on bedrest, we hoped for a miracle. We had already decided on names for our baby. If it was a boy he was going to be William James. If it was a girl, she would be named Elisa Rose. I had always loved that name. However, one day, while I was laying there, I believe that the Holy Spirit told me to name her Faith. I know that it may be hard to believe that I really heard the Holy Spirit, but I know that I did. I would have never thought of that name in a million years. I used to think that the significance was in what her name means. However, I recently figured out that the significance is what her being named means. Do you see the subtle difference?  Faith, according to the Bible, is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. That is great news that gives me great hope of seeing her again. However, a deeper joy is found in that Jesus loved her enough to name her. Let me say that again. Jesus loved her enough to name her. The God of the universe, who created the stars in the sky, loved my baby--who would never take a breath on earth--enough to give her a name. How on earth can I doubt that He who named her, would hold her safely in His arms until I can be there?

So for now, I will rest in the knowledge that my dear Faith, will save a place for me  until the God of creation calls me home.