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Looking back

Monday, January 5, 2009

So, I'm generally late doing dated posts--my thanksgiving post was late, and now my reflection on 2008 post is late--but I will blame my internet provider for that.

2008 was definitely a growing year for me. Looking back, I am amazed at how the Lord used tragedies to bring me closer to Him. It started with the tragic death of Steven Curtis Chapman's daughter, Maria. I was completely floored that something so horrible could happen to such a man of God. Right around the time that I went to his concert, an incredible testament to his faith, my mom sent me Angie Smith's blog. I was amazed at her strength of faith during her difficult pregnancy and giving her baby girl back to Jesus. This all caused me to have a great deal of introspection. I finally, after 4 plus years, was able to let go of anger and disappointment at losing our first baby girl. I've been able to write about it and share it with close friends that had wanted to walk the journey with me, but I wasn't able to let them. I've been able to be honest with you all about my feelings, bad and good, and I thank you all for loving me despite myself. It all has been great strides towards healing from the wounds that I have been afflicted with. I can truly say that I am able to walk again in faith. I am so thankful that the Lord chose to bring me to Him in a greater intimacy, and I pray that 2009 will bring me even closer. I feel like 2009 may be about waiting and seeking. I am waiting to see what the Lord has planned for me as far as my career, schooling for my children, to meet my baby niece, and waiting to learn what His plan is for growing our family. In all this waiting, I am also seeking for His will to be done, whatever it may be (boy is that a scary sentence to write)!

5 comments:

Jenna said...

baby ladybug looks forward to meeting you too :-)

Anonymous said...

Da Daaaa! I am so proud of your growth Dolly and that last part I know was hard to write! But no matter what being in God's will is huge! Keep praying for me and the church thing. I don't want to fade away. Love MOM

Anonymous said...

I am so proud of you!!! You are a great example for me and our childeren. I love you so much--Bill

Anonymous said...

I am so proud of you!!! You are a great example for me and our childeren. I love you so much--Bill

Anna said...

I look forward to our Friday visit and catching up with you. I'm so glad that the Lord has been working in your heart -- it sounds like you've really grown closer to Him.