Friday, December 5, 2008

I know that I'm a little over a week late talking about thankfulness, but I have been writing this post in my head for a while and just didn't have the time to devote to it that I really wanted. I am obviously thankful for all the wonderful people and blessings that the Lord has given to me, but I know that the Lord calls us to be thankful in all things. I have been trying to figure out how I can be thankful for the Lord bringing our baby girl home before we could raise her. The Bible verse that I clung too, in an odd way, was James 1:2 "Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials." My personal translation to that verse was, "Consider it all joy, when crap happens..." I clung to it, because it meant to me that God was going to work good through our loss. Somehow. He promises that " all things God works for the good of those who love him, and have been called according to his purposes." Romans 8:28. I have been searching for almost 5 years for reasons that I can be thankful, have joy, or see God's good work. Recently, I won a book (you may have seen an earlier post) by Lynnette Kraft. She has buried 3 children and has an incredible strength and love for the Lord. A passage in her book really hit me. It is definitely how I feel. I hope it's ok to quote it (I don't know what the etiquette is, so I apologize if I shouldn't do this).

She said, "My heart will never be the same. You've imprinted a love for Anna Gabrielle there and that lonely spot won't be satisfied until the day I hold her again. That's okay though, because as a result of that lonely spot, I've gained compassion for others and a strong desire to be in your holy presence here on earth and especially in heaven....I praise you for taking three of my children to be with you because a part of me has gone with them. I find myself holding much more loosely to this earthly place and the things in it. I can truly say I'm thankful for my sorrow because I've gained so much."

I feel very similar to Lynette. I don't know that I can yet say that I am 100% thankful for my sorrow, but I can say that losing Faith has made me want to serve the Lord more. I cling to the hope that I will see her again. I want my whole family to see her again and praise the same Lord that she has been praising for almost 5 years now. And what that means to me is that I need to raise my children to love Him. I don't care if they are the smartest or the prettiest or the fastest or the wealthiest. I care that they love the Lord with their heart and soul and mind. So that when we leave this world, we will all still be together. When I get to Heaven, I can't wait to say to my King, "Where is she Lord?" I will see her healed perfectly by the Great Physician. So truly, I can count it joy, because of my trials, I have an even stronger burning desire for my family to know and love Jesus. And I look forward to the day that we will be together praising Him for forgiving us and saving us and allowing us to live forever together in His presence.


Anonymous said...

Hi Jaime

We have never met, but I just want to tell you how much your words have meant to me tonight. I thank the Lord for your transparency and willingness to share your thoughts and feelings.

I just finished reading your latest blog entry, and the tears have been streaming down my face. I also have been questioning why we have to go through all these painful and lonely years, and I also long to have my beautiful daughters with me.

Thank you for helping me to focus on what is really important tonight! God bless you!

Anonymous said...

Nicely said little girl. I love you. MOM Thank you for letting me be involved in your lives and your earthly children.

Jaime said...

This is to Anonymous that left a comment. Thank you so much for your sweet words. They mean the world to me. I have prayed for you and am so sorry to hear about your daughters. If you would like to email me, I'd love to hear your story and how to more specifically pray for you. If not, I understand and will continue to pray for you. My email is

Anonymous said...

that was really nice jaimers.