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How do you know?

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

How do you know when you're done having children? This isn't a rhetorical question--feel free to answer if you have any advice. Bill and I have no idea if we are going to "try" to have more babies. I say "try" because of course it is ultimately up to God. It may or may not be in His plan. However, I'm not counting on an "accidental" pregnancy. That would be ridiculously unlikely for us. My babies are just growing up so fast, that I miss having a baby in the house. I'm starting to have my rose colored glasses on again, remembering the newborn stage. I, however, have not forgotten how miserable I am the entire pregnancy; and how I'm pretty sure that my skin really couldn't take another good stretching. Frankly, delivery doesn't deter me, but the 9 months prior are a nightmare.

I feel like there are a million things to take into consideration, but I wonder if they are stupid. Like, I think we don't have room for more kids, I don't want to take away from the opportunities that Rori and Liam can have, Bill and I have career decisions we'd need to make, if we do have more babies, should we space them out from these two or have them all in a lump, do I have the energy, etc. While there are lots of questions like that, which kind of lead me to wonder if we should be done, I just feel like I want more, leading me back to my questions of "how do you know?"

At least, in a few months, I'll have a new baby niece to squelch my baby cravings.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

Only God knows...Two was good for us, but 3 would have been good too. Love MOM

Christina said...

That's a tough one. I'll be interested in hearing the answers. I think I want to have more (I have 2 now, for those that don't know me) but I was never one of those girls that knew how many and of which kind (boy/girl) so frankly, I'm thinking, who needs a plan, just go with it! But then again, who wants to be up for 3 o clock feedings their whole life.... hmm... I go back and forth. I think we should plan to have the same amount 4-5 together! I've got it -'Bunk Beds' cause you know my house can't hold that many chicklets either! :) Great question, Great post.

unzen said...

I have 4 great kids. I had first 2 very close my boy and girl. Many said should be done but i found deep down i wanted more 4 years later we welcomed another boy. We thought we were done so my hubby did the surgery. My daughter was 8 and she asked for a sister. deep down i missed the baby stage and During this time i had lost my TWIN sis with her 2 children in a house fire. I felt deep need to have one more child. We had to use infertility and were blessed to add another son. Now life is very busy and some days i wonder why i had 4 as my two oldest are 20 and 19 grown and on there way. I am glad to still have a 10 year old keeping me busy. I now feel done. God i trust will let you know. Trust how you feel. Good Luck
unzens6-animals.blogspot.com

Anonymous said...

Why is so hard to make that decision? All we can do is pray about it. Maybe we can have one later on, just for us!--Bill

Anne said...

I know because my husband is 100% sure! Two is great and enough for him. I have always (and still am) open to having one more, but not without the husband's complete support. It might be fun for you to try to live in the moment, doing what you're doing now, just enjoying the two you have, and wait for God to lead you in His timing. It sounds to me, if I may say so, that your deep yearning is to have another, and if that's true, you should not let silly societal pressures like careers and having enough room in the house be factors. (I say this mostly because I have no career :D) From what I have seen, you and Bill are wonderful parents with lots of love to give, and any child would be blessed beyond measure to be born into your family. I doubt he or she will mind sharing a room or spending some time with grandma during the week while you're at work. Just some thoughts...